I’m always tired. Being a leech on society is hard work. But after those first few sips of coffee hit the bloodstream, I’m revved up and ready to go. At once, it’s like I’m cruising down Rainbow Road, glittery with star power as the greatest soundtrack of all time propels me forward.
If you’re looking for a high point in an otherwise unremarkable day, simply pair your coffee (black, if possible for maximum bad flavour) with something sweet. The bitter, unsavoury, yucky yucky coffee taste will highlight the richness, the beauty, the dulcet tones of whatever dessert you’re consuming, whether it’s the Halloween candy from last year or the coconut cocktail buns your mom made and you should eat them right now because they’re hot, and of course she can’t eat them all by herself and your father can’t eat them because he has to watch his sugar intake even though you have dinner plans and you’re trying not to spoil your appetite but also they do look really good and oh wow, that is a lot more coconut than you get at the bakery, and also thank you so much for the buns by the way I won’t be home next Sunday for dinner, so can we do Monday instead? Okay, thanks, see you, love you, okay, bye.